Saturday, December 22, 2007

My walk of hope

Just prayed fajr and got like a couple of hours at hand. Instead of going back to bed and waking up for my exam feeling deprived, I thought I’d sit down and put the words and images that rushed to my mind in my walk yesterday here down to rest. So, share that walk with me, just like I share my life with you.

I am finally breaking free from my long winter hibernation and crippling fears that hold me down and keep me back. I strode out in a slow walk enjoying every little sensation, gaping out for air just like a fish desperately does to survive. Spring is here, not in full bloom, but timidly stepping its first steps just like I was. The last time I walked was in the fall; a fall it was, I perfectly remember. But life goes on, and on I went. The snow almost melted everywhere the sun could reach, the rest was hiding shyly behind a tree or in the shade knowing that it too will melt but not in vain, it will replenish the long forgotten thirsty soil and blossom again in each flower and every strand of grass. And that too was there. I left it last fall dry and weathering. It still is now. But that grass had a confident smile, reassured that it won’t take long until it is luscious green again. As the heavy snow that lurked on its chest was clearing up, it patiently waited there with open arms for life again. And on I walked. The breeze was welcoming and cool on my skin. I raised my face to enjoy the warm soft rays that cuddled and nourished it again. They too missed me I guess, and knew how I longed for them. And on I walked. I came across the flower beds that I used to name after my dear ones. They were left there unattended with remains of flowers and sweet roses long forgotten like old friendship I left uncared for. Will the beds filled with cold remains of life thrive again? And on I walked. It was very quiet. Where are the birds that used to soar in the sky? They traveled in flocks in the fall seeking warmth promising to be back again in the spring. I looked for them in the sky. Will they be back again?

On my way back, the road seemed long, very long. But it was reassuring that no matter how long it was my destination was still clear. My home is right there, all I have to do is to walk. No detours will distract me now, I have wasted too much time already and have to get there before it gets dark. My home is there, all I have to do it to keep walking. And on I walked; breathless but alive again enjoying my journey for its tears and smiles.

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