1- I always thought I should be a singer, or a radio anchor. Yeah, I know! I still sing not-so-cheerful songs and had the audacity to record and share that with close friends at times :-) But reciting Qur'an audibly is actually very much soothing.
2- Played music by ear and till now piano and cello music still hit the right spot and bring me to my knees as they dig in a sadness well I sometimes never knew it existed.
3- Been a stranger and a loner in all shapes and forms; trust me on this one. Have always been the expert, and still am.
4- I am built to be strong, I wonder why I gave up; on life in general.
5- It is interesting what you can see in people's eyes. I read faces, feel voices, sense words, and see through people loud and clear and my first impression is seldom wrong.
6- I have been writing ever since I do not remember when and my dream has always been to write my own book. I stopped for such a long time though as I lost my voice and inner compass. But maybe when I regain that voice it would be an audio book :-)
7- I am best when I am in charge. That said, I know cannot do that alone.
8- It takes a whole lot to let anyone in my inner circle of close people, and not much to let go once I am not appreciated. Any BFF's out there? :-) Yet, flickering candle light, white roses, the smiling contemplative moon and deep blue sea, are my lifelong friends.
9- I am a super mom! They also call me "nerd", "old school", "not cool", and the list goes on. The apples of my eyes, even if they grow taller than me and assume that they know more. I just smile back and say, "when it's your turn to be the parent, you will know."
10- I have learned that it is the ones who do not cry and wail when losing a loved one, that are never able to get over the grief. They learn to live with it.
11- Winter can be literally brutal in here. I dread walking on ice since that got me a concussion not too long ago. I learned to love snow though and live with it. Fresh snow reminds me of beach sand. You can still slip on it; I just did today :-S
12- I hate cooking! I do it as a duty and for survival purposes only. It's weird that I am not bad at it. It is just not my passion. I am an organization freak though. I can get you anything at anytime from my place here; blindfolded (no kidding!) My strict rules drive every one around me nuts. But tough life, you still have to clean up your rooms, and the house, kids!
13- My sense of smelling is annoyingly sharp sometimes. But in the spring... well, the very thought brings a smile to my face.
14- I am in no-man's-land now. I am neither a youngy nor an old lady. Stuck in between!
15- It's scary how you can be your worst enemy especially when your support system fails you down. A wise lady told me today that I have to be there for me at tough times.
16- I will never stop learning. My eyes are wide open, my mind just never stops, and life's strikes and blows will keep teaching me.
17- I once said casually that my life is a series of goodbyes. Cheesy, eh? Never knew where that came from then. Never knew then that it was so true.
18- I miss warmth when I think of my family. It was a real blast the last time when we were all together. It won't be the same now; but life goes on.
19- Been away and around for too long that it is tricky sometimes to know where home is. I know where to resort to though when I miss home.
20- We take our health for granted, till it's time for reality checks!
21- Leaving a legacy behind is an interesting concept.
22- The pride of being a Muslim and the comfort of knowing Allah are what keeps me alive when the going gets tough.
23- I was hiking in a park once when I enjoyed remembering Allah audibly. I knew that the trees and nature around me were all listening and wondered if I was the first one to do this in that remote spot. Doing that has become my secret ever since.
24- It so hard to plan for a future or any career when I am on the move and always on new challenging turfs. Only Adage anchors me down and nourishes my sense of purpose. I will just keep doing what I can and leave the rest to God's most generous hands.
25- Tough situations that require taking a stand bring out in me innate strength, resolution, and strong will.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
She stopped writing. Somehow, somewhere she lost her voice. What is the value of mere words in a worthless fading world. The rose is dying. They cut her life supply. She looks now in the eyes of strangers wondering how this and that would be her friend; could be her friend. She wonders what warmth feels like. Those smiles kill her, the smiles of two people who talked cordially to each other. Fake smiles for sure; they too will die. She looks at her reflection and cannot recognize it. Does it show, that reflection of mine, that I have given up? She wonders.