The character shield

Five questions…she started writing on the board:

What’s your goal in life?
What do you do when you are not working?
I am the kind of person that….?
In 5 years from now I would like to have….?
The two things that I would take with me on a deserted island are?

This was our instructor’s idea of having us introduce ourselves to her and to each other. We knew each other already for this was our second semester together and that was our third class in a row in which we say the same old, same old about who we were and our background. The catch this time though, was to answer those questions by drawing a picture! Then we were to stand in front of the class and explain those drawings! I was mortified, "What?"

1- I do not have an answer for all that in the first place!
2- Even if I do, each is a deep concept that no drawing can symbolize.
3- My drawing is nowhere near beautiful!
4- And to stand in front of the class and talk? Who, me? The one who alienated herself because of the difference in age, background and everything really and who comes from a completely different world?

Well, I guess by now you got the picture. And until the very last moment I almost didn’t know what to do.

But then, that instructor started by herself, answering those questions one by one. “The Character Shield” she called her paper with the drawings.

Then to make it even harder, she asked us to come address the class without giving us any specific order to follow. Whoever had the guts to start did, followed by the less so. They are all more than a decade younger than me and they live in a culture quite different than where I came from so it was normal to have them state in simple and really sweet terms sometimes how their goal is to be happy, to have a home and lots of cash in five years, to take “satellite phones” with them in the island and knives and guns to secure food and protect themselves. They went on to describe what kind of persons they are; mainly happy sociable ones who like to party, drink, laugh at silly jokes and just be around people merrily.

I was almost surprised that I was the last one to get up and talk. One more please to come before me? “Help people?” I prayed secretly. But of course every one by then had already talked with the rest of the class laughing with him or her and clapping out of courtesy for encouragement.

So what did I have on my paper?

Well, a sun was my answer to the first question. “It is not that I like the sun per se,” I started, “cause I had a lot of that in Egypt where I come from. But to me the sun symbolizes light, guidance, warmth and help and this is what I would like to be giving to my dear ones. I volunteer and try to make a difference and this to me is more gratifying than money.”

“The computer here,” I went on, “is basically what I do in my life when I am not with a book reading or listening to either to study or for pleasure. This is where I do my volunteer job that I have committed my life to. This also is where I have the pleasure of talking to my close friends in a couple of both remote and close areas of the world. This is where I share my life and thoughts, since I don’t have friends here in Canada.”

“That person with question marks here is me. I am a person who thinks and questions life around her. I see ideas and images in everything around me and enjoy turning stones for hidden treasures.”

“What I would like to have in five years? Well, I think I have everything I need and cannot ask for more. But what I would really like to have in five years is my first book. This is a dream I have always had and you never know; it might come true one day.”

The last question was the easiest to answer really. “I would certainly take with me to that deserted island an endless supply of lotion. Facing the elements is not such a good idea, and I’m sorry people, I can’t live without my lotion! But what would really help me there is to have a copy of Qur’an with me. I am a spiritual kind of person and I know that having our (Muslim’s) holy book will make me feel God’s company all the time and I would then never be alone.”

And they clapped, with gusto I guess, as if I gave a speech or something. And as I sat back next to a classmate of mine he said, “Hey! That was really good. I feel like I know you well.” “Hello! Of course you do, we worked together on a group project, remember!”

Today was a different story though. Something must have happened in class that left me feeling down that when it was over I went out walking in an opposite direction from that of the rest. I simply wanted to be alone wishing their voices would disappear so that a loner like me is left in peace.

As I was walking, a polite classmate of mine came after me saying, “Hey stranger!” I said, “Hey there, see you Saturday?” “Yeah,” he said, “but remember what you said yesterday when you were talking about yourself and addressing the class?” “Oh that? I seem to have said a lot of stuff yesterday!” He said, “But you said that you didn’t have any friends here in Canada, remember?” “Yeah,” I said. “Well, you do. You certainly do!”