Numb!

It is a weird feeling, of no feeling basically. I do not need, miss or love any more. I simply prefer to be on my own, confined to what I know sometimes and trying to get by without upsetting anyone as much as I can. It could be because I know how much pain the three feelings above put you through that I decided to throw the baby with the bath water. It could also be that the concept of "feeling" is much rediculed in a world of moving on, practicality and priorities, that I have discarded the whole concept. I don't know. The problem is that I am and have always been a bundle of feelings and this no man's land that I am in is leaving me lost. It feels like something is missing from the picture. The days are going by, goals are reached, almost, and feelings are pushed aside. It is like I am waiting for a friendly face to rekindle the human being in me. Was walking by in my new neighbourhood the other day and greeted back the nice couple that came my way and left me thinking. How would it be like if I have friends again, like a company maybe that I can sit with and maybe laugh again? Am I able to give again; or for that matter take? Is being numb a mere state to cope with what I could not cope with otherwise, or is it a new reality?

Days will tell.